If you have heard about the orgasm gap and want to know everything about it, you have come to the right article at the right time.
Today we are going to tell you why it is so important to know what this concept refers to and why knowing it can significantly improve both your sex life and that of your partner.
What is orgasm?
Before delving into the explanation about what the orgasmic gap is, we find it interesting to define what exactly an orgasm is, since there is a certain idealization that very usually does not come close to reality.
Orgasm is usually defined as the peak of excitement and the discharge of tension that occurs during sexual intercourse or during masturbation. However, we could say that, although this definition is true, orgasm is one more part of sex and it does not have to be the most important or the one we enjoy the most.
If we limit ourselves to the physiological aspect, when reaching orgasm, involuntary contractions appear in the female body that correspond to the perivaginal and perineal muscles. These contractions last a few seconds and the woman experiences a intense pleasure in the vagina that spreads throughout the pelvis.
This is what happens in the body, but each person’s experience is unique and can be absolutely different from one woman to another.
What is the orgasm gap?
The orgasmic gap, a topic that is becoming very relevant lately, refers to a situation that has weighed on women’s sexuality for generations.
This gap arises when women have sex with men and refers to the fact that they have a much lower number of orgasms than men.
Of course, both women and men are physiologically designed to have orgasms. However, reality tells us that men have orgasms in practically all their sexual relations, but in the case of women this is not the case. There are even women who, even though they have a partner, have never enjoyed an orgasm with her.
There is research on the subject in which women and men have been asked how often they have orgasms in their intimate relationships. And hard data indicates that only 30% of
women have had orgasms compared to 90% of men. That is, only 3 out of 10 women reach climax when they have sex with men.
Why does the orgasm gap exist?
To understand it better you have to think of the orgasmic gap as if it were the well-known wage gap.
All our lives we have been told that the difference in the number of orgasms is that the anatomy of women is much more complex than that of men. You have to know that this is a vulgar lie. And the proof is that approximately 86% of women who have sex with other women reach orgasm. In addition, the orgasm gap is greater in sporadic sexual relations than in stable ones. Curious, right?
These numbers clearly indicate that it is not an anatomical issue, but one of education and culture. Women have been sexually educated differently than men. While their sexuality has always been seen as an imperative biological need, their sexuality has been made invisible and silenced for centuries.
Men have always had much more freedom to explore their bodies and also to express their desires. Male masturbation is spoken of with great ease and in a normalized way. Instead, it is much harder to take for granted that women masturbate. Although there are currently far fewer restrictions in this regard, it is still a subject that remains relegated to private life.
The reality is that this situation has many more implications than it seems when it comes to them not being able to achieve the same number of orgasms as them. Namely:
- ● On the one hand, it makes women not get to know their own body and therefore, they are not as capable as a man to provide themselves with pleasure. And if they do not know how the mechanism of their own pleasure works, it is difficult for them to transmit to their partners the key to satisfying them.
- ● In another order of things, women have been educated to give pleasure and not to receive it. This makes them always put their boy’s needs ahead of their own.
- ● This lack of education results in penetration being seen as the most important thing in a sexual relationship and also marks male ejaculation as the goal of it.
- ● If penetration is considered fundamental, the clitoris and its stimulation become the great forgotten. What makes them not reach orgasm during the relationship being with a man.In short, the lack of knowledge about one’s own body and the protagonism that the penis and the male ejaculate have in intercourse, result in the unfair orgasmic gap. The truth is that, as tantric sex teaches us, orgasm does not have to be the ultimate goal of a sexual relationship: you can have a fully satisfactory sexual relationship without climaxing.
From our experience as tantric masseuses, we suggest that you work intensely on the knowledge of your body and your sensations, so that you are able to transmit to your partner how to provide you with pleasure and thus be able to agree and enjoy as much as he does in your intimacy.
How do you live the orgasmic gap?
Leave us your experience in the comments and let’s learn together